The Ten Step Of Self Confidence Is Very Important.

All successful people have two common qualities. What you often hear is their self-confidence - a belief that you think you can overcome challenges in most situations.

What is often forgotten (or ignored) is that most of the people who are very confident now are deeply afraid of the fact or imagined deficiencies, but those who are truly confident can sweep away these self doubts.

From this perspective, confidence building is a process that can be divided into two stages.

The first stage is to dispel the self doubt in the heart, and the second stage is to build up self-confidence.

It's like building skyscrapers. First you have to clear the site and lay a solid foundation before stacking up the superstructure.

How tall a building can be built - how much confidence you can build - depends on yourself.

The following is a ten step plan. It is not easy to follow the plan.

It's good. It's worth it.

Stage one: eliminating self doubt

Step one: understand the root cause

As early as infancy, self doubt has infiltrated into our hearts.

As young children, family members have no power in our eyes. We will think, "I want to be like them too."

There is nothing wrong with this desire, but pushing parents to the altar is a problem.

This is very complicated, but from the moment we begin to yearn for the authority that our parents have in our imagination, we will constantly take self-awareness and self ideal -- the perfect self in imagination, from the omnipotence of parents in our minds.

Because no one can achieve the high standard set by our ideal, our remaining life is more or less suffering from self doubt.

This is not rational, but it can also be a real phenomenon.

The second step: accept reality.

There is a psychological school called "acceptance therapy", which is based on the fact that admitting that one is troubled by a problem can alleviate the negative emotions that the problem can cause.

On the contrary, denying the existence of a problem or constantly remorse because of a certain defect will always aggravate the problem.

Anyone, even a superstar, will feel like a fake or a very bad one.

No one is perfect, and it is the key to recognize the imperfections of those you admire.

The third step: pour out

You may not have completed the second step, because it is difficult to really accept them unless you confide in someone you trust.

Think you'll ruin a speech? Try it on a friend.

Feel unrespected? Ask a person you admire (but not your boss).

The worst result is that the person who accepts your advice gives you negative feedback. Even so, you can improve yourself accordingly.

Recognizing which problems bothers you (and knowing that other people share the same idea) will help you realize that although self doubt is annoying, it's not a big deal - it's impossible to die.

The fourth step:

If a claustrophobic patient is trapped in an elevator, they will have difficulty concentrating on this reality: the elevator may start to move at any time, because fear and panic take over their mind.

Self doubt also has a similar tendency. However, unlike claustrophobia, you can look for some solid facts.

For example, if you get a promotion recently, you can remind yourself why you are being reused.

Make a list of your valuable skills and achievements, and read out loud if necessary.

But it is also important not to rely on the kind of prepared morale to make yourself feel like the role of Stuart Smalley in Saturday Night Live (Night Smalley).

False self praise may be more harmful than self doubt.

The second stage: enhance self-confidence.

Fifth step: courage and challenge.

If we say "possession of reality and defeat of one win nine", it is true that "firm confidence is invincible".

Even if it is a very terrible event, if you tell yourself that you have the resources needed to deal with it, it may be really controlled.

The sixth step: challenge yourself.

Well, for most people, the above Jedi belief theory is not enough.

No matter where it comes from, fear is an unconquered enemy.

Because of this, you should take the initiative to challenge it. William Jennings Brian (William Jennings Bryan, American politician, who failed in the three presidential election and served as secretary of state) once said, "the way to build self-confidence is to do what we fear."

Setbacks are unavoidable. Endure them. Perseverance is a self reinforcing steel skeleton.

The seventh step: choose battlefield.

Specifically, this means choosing to accept self coordination (egosyntonic) - a psychological term, which refers to the challenge of behavior and emotion that is consistent with your mind's understanding of yourself. It is far more effective to challenge self-confidence by confronting the challenges of your choice than to meet the challenges that others have chosen for you.

If you believe that certain battles are of great importance and therefore choose them on their own initiative, your winning rate and the confidence you will gain will increase.

The eighth step: gradually expand after mastering something.

Nothing is more contusion than shooting the fish in the barrel. It adds more challenges to every task you face and your self-confidence will also increase.

If you haven't made any progress in the long run, your confidence will be exhausted sooner or later.

The ninth step: don't crave positive feedback for self confidence.

When politicians talk to voters, "how I do" may be a good question, but for those who want to improve their self-confidence, this is a stupid question, mainly because it shows that you are full of insecurity and may not be sincerely responded.

Tenth step: avoid arrogance and arrogance.

No matter what, there are problems that are too far behind. Self-confidence is no exception.

Believe in yourself, but don't go too far.