Yu Minhong: Mother Is The Decisive Factor For Whether A Child Is Successful Or Not.

I once did a survey: there was a ship with nine things, including Grandpa, grandma, father, mother, toy, pet dog and so on.

But suddenly the ship was sinking, leaving only three things for children to choose.

The result is: only 20% of the children left by Dad.

This is because Daddy has little time to spend with his children.

How much determines whether your child is willing to be with you or how influential you are.

In this sense, dad should try to be with his children as much as possible.

My son was born abroad. When I was eleven years old, I was brought back to my country. I also tried my best to win time with my children, so that I could have a little influence on him.

Of course, the influence of father and mother on children is different.

For example, I hardly care much about children's performance. The number of places in his class is not what I consider at all.

As long as he is not six of the gate class, it is OK to ensure that his IQ is normal.

But mother is different. My mother will care about the number of students in the class and how many students are above him.

Our concerns are different.

Although I am not concerned about academic performance, I am very concerned about the children's learning attitude, creativity and ability.

For example, my son wanted to have a 3D printer, so I bought it for him.

He took the picture of our dog and scanned it into a computer and pformed it into a dog's image.

We made the model of our puppy.

This is something innovative. I will support his exploration and remain concerned.

I am also concerned about whether the child has the courage, the ability to break the world, the tenacity and perseverance.

So I still take my children to climb mountains.

When he climbed Mount Huangshan, he had to take a cable car. I didn't allow it.

At the height of one thousand meters, my knees are not very good, but I have to set an example to exercise his willpower. This is my concern.

1. parents should read more books and become children's examples.

I want to share the first and most important thing for all mothers to read.

According to my investigation and understanding, compared with mothers who do not like reading, mothers who love reading books raise their interest in learning and raise their knowledge level compared with mothers who do not like reading.

The management must be higher.

Why is it important for parents to read books? Because parents will have an impact on children when they are reading, especially when children are young.

When parents are reading, children can not read without books, and when they are studying quietly in Changan, they create a quiet environment for their children. The time for children to do their homework will also be extended.

So I especially advocate that mothers should read seriously, preferably with their children.

When children are young, they get into the habit of reading fairy tales when children do not read.

If you don't have time to read, you can let him listen to it on his cell phone.

But you can't throw your cell phone to the child and run away.

If there are about twenty minutes a day to develop children's reading habits for four or five consecutive years, he will automatically form a reading habit.

If you decide to read the rules for half an hour every day, the child will be far more than half an hour, because he can't put it down after he enters the story.

Therefore, parents' reading is very important to children.

2. parents should manage their emotions and maintain a calm mood and mood.

No matter how busy you are, never rush to communicate with your child. When you are in a hurry, your heart is agitated, and the tone of your child's talk is not smooth. It will gradually stimulate your child's resistance and irritability. For a long time, it will affect the development of children's personality.

A great thing a mother can do is to be able to maintain a sense of peace in the course of her children's growth.

I am most afraid to see such a thing: the mother is so anxious that she can't say a few words to the child and begin to accuse the child.

In turn, the child is very impatient with you, isn't it? The mother has always maintained a calm state, which will give the child a sense of security.

He will be very willing to talk with you after he feels safe.

Because he has a sense of security. He knows that if he returns to zero in the exam, you will not scold him. If he comes back after forty points, you will not scold him; he will fight with other children, and you will not scold him.

You can communicate well with him.

For example, if a child aged 12 or 3 is in love, most of our parents will be worried.

In fact, we need to analyze with him why he likes this person, and then analyze why it is not good to be in love at this age.

From beginning to end, you must maintain a calm state and let him feel that you are his friend, not just his parents. This is especially important.

If you lose your temper easily, the child can't expect to tell you what kind of punishment he will get. If anything happens, he will hide everything and he will not tell you anything. Then you will fail as a parent.

This shows how important it is to manage your mood and keep calm.

3. parents should accompany their children with high quality, cultivate their children's good feelings and love for the world.

Many father said I stayed at home in the evening.

But some fathers are watching TV. Some of their fathers are playing mahjong. Although people are at home, they actually have no real communication with children, and even do some negative roles in some aspects.

How can I accompany a child with high quality? I often encourage parents to take their children out to play. This kind of play is not playing blindly, not taking them to ride roller coaster, or taking them out to have a meal. So casual and simple, high quality play is fostering children's mood.

For example, if a child can recite "the bright moon before the bed, the frost on the ground" or "the thousands of ancient people, and look at the poetry of today", what do we want the children to feel? What can we design? For example, take the children to the lake or the seaside, sit quietly for two hours to see how the moon rises from the East.

This is especially important because you integrate the content of his learning with nature, so playing with children is definitely not blind.

Through high quality accompany, how you develop children's mood and temper, from the bosom to the eye, this is particularly important.

I met a parent at Tsinghua University. He himself was not an insect researcher, but his son in Grade Four has already known about 4000 insects. He may be the smallest insect in the world.

The cause is very simple. Once, two flies in his family fell on the rice. The response of our parents is to destroy it with fly swatter.

But the father said to the child who was only five or six years old at the time, you see, these two flies are different. How many kinds of insects are there in the world, there are thousands of light flies, and each of them has different shapes. Now when you compare insects, you will find that the insect world is actually not beautiful.

Later, the father searched the insect online with his child, and led the child to the insect research world.

There is no doubt that even if the child is not the best entomologist in the world, he will probably become an excellent scientist.

Because his research spirit has been cultivated! This is actually a kind of guidance - a continuous guidance from parents to children.

4. parents should set principles and rules for children and cultivate good habits.

In the process of children's growth, parents will slowly feel unable to control their children, and children can not control their children mainly from two reasons.

The first reason is that you didn't set rules for children from small to large. This rule may be in your heart, but you never told the child that you were uncomfortable and scolded the child.

Another reason is that we set the rules too late. When we set the rules for him, the children's habits had already been formed, so it was particularly troublesome.

Just like I trained my children to brush their teeth habits, and trained for months, staring at them every morning, urges me to sleep in the morning and urges him to form a habit of brushing his teeth. It takes months for him to do so.

The best rule is to be under the age of eight. Before the age of ten, children will still listen to you. Why? Because before the age of ten, he felt that he had only one parent in the world who could not live without his parents.

But after he was ten years old, he felt that he could still live without his parents.

He will gradually find that his parents have nothing to do with his parents.

Some rules are particularly important, and their influence on their lives will be particularly large after they grow up.

To give a simple example, after the child starts to understand, ask the child to clean up his bed and room.

Of course, this premise is that parents themselves can clean up the room. If the parents do not fold the quilt for a year, and the child must fold the quilt, the child will not be able to do it.

Tidying up the room and placing things on the surface seems like a small thing, but in fact it is a habit of children's orderly life.

Orderly habits are the best way to improve efficiency and efficiency.

I was born in rural areas, and I do things in an orderly way, because I started from the beginning, my mother set me two rules: first, after getting up in the morning, we must clean up the bed.

Second, if you want to go to school, you have to clean your house first.

I have division of labor with my elder sister, who is five years old. I have to sweep the floor in the morning. My sister must wash her dishes after dinner.

Later, I formed a particularly good habit. I used to make the room relatively clean and clean.

There is also a habit that you can actually do. When children are seven or eight years old, they can encourage children to cook and stir fry more or less.

Chinese stir fry is not like Germany, a lot of balances in the kitchen.

Chinese people rely on what to grasp just a moment, in fact, this thing is very important, let the children gradually learn to rely on their hearts to feel, what kind of things to do exactly.

This extends to the middle of life, and gradually he will form. How do I do things and how to deal with people? So don't look at small things. There are universities in the middle of small things.

5. parents should create environment for their children and cultivate their social skills.

Most of our families are children, so parents have to find a way to set up a circle for their children.

Children who are no more than two years old and children in the community can become children's friends.

I often feel that my child is so lonely, because I am always moving, so it's not easy for him to build a long circle of friends in the real sense.

Now you have to do one thing, organize your family to get together on weekends, and you will find the children have a good time together and have to play with the girls.

In the process of playing, children's association with the opposite sex is beginning to become familiar.

A family in a community can also play together with children, so that children can grow together.

Children's growth