Managers Should Not Avoid Negative Feedback.

A young entrepreneur owns and runs a thriving company. He has to bear enormous financial risks in his work, and he can always deal with it confidently or even excitedly.

However, he could not sleep at the thought that he would have a difficult conversation with a colleague. The thing is, he had to tell a partner that their office in Amsterdam had to be closed, which would lead her to lose her job in the company.

No matter how reasonable the decision is, he is still afraid of facing her grief and anger, and his guilt. He rehearsed the conversation process in his mind, and he was frightened by the imaginary scene. So he kept putting it off.

Many executives are promoted to their current positions because of their performance, not because they are good at conducting such strong emotional talks or dealing with possible shocks. Giving a negative feedback to someone, giving a warning to an employee who is not working well, or having to lay off an employee is a scene with strong emotions, which may make managers feel hard to resist.

All sorts of unpleasant emotions may arise: guilt, frustration, anger, embarrassment and fear. Not only do they need to cope with their own emotions, they also need to deal with the immediate reaction of the other person to them - shock, disappointment or anger.

Many managers lack this confidence and think they can not deal with such potential conflicts or strong emotions, so they turn to procrastination or avoidance tactics until the situation is out of hand. Another option is to push the problem to Human Resources Department And even to business trainers.

Jeanie Hodder, an executive trainer at London Business School (LBS), points out a particularly destructive behavior pattern: "many executives tend to swaying between the two extremes. At first, they avoided the conversation and took a passive stance. As time went on, problems began to ferment in their hearts until they could no longer afford it. At this point, they often express themselves in a chaotic, self assured and aggressive way. When they see their own injuries, they will feel regret or even feel guilty. So they will return to passive management posture and worry about anything that might hurt people. This cycle is repeated this week.

There are other reasons why executives are afraid of such talks. They may be worried about their personal image being at risk. Others may worry that if the conversation is particularly bad, they have to take responsibility. There are also other factors, such as the complexity of employment laws, which may prevent conversation.

Nonetheless, it would be much worse for both individuals and companies to avoid such difficult conversations. Battery and luminaire company energizer (Energizer) talent Management Supervisor Lara Greenfield (Lara Greenfield) said: "developing difficult conversations often pushes companies to turn over a page and move forward, and evading them often leads to stagnation. The credibility of managers in employees will decline, and he or she will lose people's trust. Employees may feel disillusioned and no longer reflect problems, because they believe that these problems will not be handled anyway.

If problems are avoided and trust is destroyed, employees may retaliate through poor performance. For example, a lady learned from her office gossip that she would be transferred from the Department she had been in charge of for six years. As a result, she was outraged and angry, so she began to arrive late, leave early and take sick leave at the first opportunity. "If my boss explained this to me directly, at least I would be treated with respect and would continue to be a dedicated employee," she said.

One more. Leader Chief executive of a medium-sized Internet Co has been avoiding difficult discussions with two directors for several months. They seem to have lost interest in the TV marketing activities they have agreed to do, which makes it impossible for him to work. However, his frustration was not expressed, but showed his emotional and eccentric behavior in his work. "I feel terrible," he said. My sleep patterns are in a mess. I'll wake up at 3 in the middle of the night. I am really on the brink of mental breakdown. In my post, I feel helpless. "

Finally, he realized that "the elephant in the room", which is obviously neglected, is how I get along with the directors. If I do not deal with this problem, I will never be able to effectively carry out my work.

With the help of a psychotherapist and a career psychologist, he gradually realized that he could not face his director directly from his childhood family life. "I want to be a good person, which makes me dare not say anything. In my family, no one has ever discussed conflicts on the table, and there is no way to deal with conflicts. I was the youngest in my family, nine years younger than the last child. After everyone left home, the task of making my parents happy was on my head. I never thought of not making everyone happy. In the workplace, I replayed the role of the family to a large extent.

Fear of situations is often overwhelming. It may paralyze a person's thinking and action. People may think that the problem is much worse than reality, and it is hard to resist. It may just be the end of the imagination. As a result, managers may eventually have a feeling of being victims themselves. There may also be a completely opposite situation: the problem is minimized in the mind, and the whole situation is understated, rather than directly confronting it. Managers often hope that problems will automatically disappear without doing anything, or in extreme cases, they will pretend that problems do not exist.

Earl Hopper, a resident psychic analyst, team analyst and organizational consultant in London, is interested in the subconscious culture of the organization. Earl Hopper. He put forward the following example: "one person in the management will be replaced, or the company will lose market share, or any problems with the board of directors will not be answered." These situations will affect the whole organization's private discussions. The result is that insecurity is structured within the company.

Dr Hopper also believes that in recent years, the long recession has brought many uncertainties and institutional changes, making executives more anxious about their jobs. This not only affects their performance, but also affects their interaction with their employees. "In the last five years, in the minds of your chief executives, survival and safety have become top priority. They know that people are concerned about their performance, so they have to have reservations. This creates a situation where people's intelligence and personality can not really be maximized. Instead, they began to distort themselves. It's like a horse racing slowly. In order to survive, people who were not afraid to take risks began to avoid risks.